


Don't Forget

by LinaBenliven



Category: South Park
Genre: Break Up, Crenny, Don't forget, Everyone Is Gay, Letter, M/M, Male Homosexuality, One Shot, Therapy, Yes homo, all the homo, creek - Freeform, south park - Freeform, two parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 20:12:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3087527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaBenliven/pseuds/LinaBenliven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever been hurt by somebody so much that you've been told to write them a letter, but to never send it?</p><p>Tweek Tweak has.</p><p>However nobody expected him to actually send it to Craig Tucker; did they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tweak's Letter

Dear Craig,

 

I don't suppose you thought that you'd get a letter from me? I mean you did cheat on me, and practically got rid of my confidence. Then on top of it all, we still go to the same school. Now surely you thought that all that you've done to me would be enough to drive me...insane. Well more insane then I actually am. With all my twitches, my paranoia, my belief that the underpant gnomes are real and my very bizarre addiction to coffee, I will accept that I am slightly insane. Maybe you thought that I wouldn't be able to cope with seeing you cheat on me with Kenny.

 

Well Craig, I couldn't deal with it. For a week after I first saw you and Kenny make out in the bathrooms (where neither of you noticed me.) I couldn't deal with it. I thought that it was my fault that you'd ran off to Kenny. I thought that it was because my paranoia had finally made you run away from me. I thought you couldn't handle being in a relationship with me. I blamed myself Craig. I became convinced that it would be easier for the world if I wasn't here any more. And I became fixated on this idea, and actually tried to end it. I used my sleeping pills and tried to overdose. My Mother found me, passed out on the floor, still alive. And Mother, being Mother had to take me to see my therapist and Miss Laranett had to convince me that I did have a place in this world. She had a hard time doing that Craig. She brought me back from the brink of suicide and suggested that I write you a letter, explaining how I felt to you about what I saw and what I thought about our relationship. She suggested that I never send you this, but I have a feeling that I'll gain closure if I do send this. So this Craig, is my letter that I should never send to you.

 

So first things first, right? When you asked me out Craig, I was the happiest person on the planet, or at the very least in our school. I'd been crushing on you for a while, and my paranoia had gotten it into my head that you'd never love me [in a way I guess it was right] and that I was better off not even crushing on you. That day had started off different as it was. I hadn't had coffee when you had asked me out so I was a bit edgy and I didn't believe you at first. I thought it was a prank. To me, it seemed reasonable that it was a prank. I'd seen you standing at your locker with Kenny, and you'd both been laughing with one another. That's why it took me so long to answer you. I had to suppress the paranoia in me that thought this was a prank, so I went and asked Kenny if it was a prank. When he said that it wasn't, I felt like tearing my hair out; [not like anyone would notice seeing as it's so messy anyway.] I hadn't believed my crush asking me out? If I couldn't believe that, how could I be in a relationship with you? And so, because of my paranoid thoughts; I couldn't bear to face you in Maths. So I had gone home, and my heart had skipped a beat [or several] when you had text me halfway through the Maths lesson asking where I was. I had replied some several minutes later when I had regained my composure, and what little of my sanity I had left, and simply text back 'yes'. And that Craig Tucker, is the story behind our get together. Yes it took me ages to get with you. But does that mean I loved you any less? No. There was no way I could love you any less then I already did that day.

 

So we were happy for ages and then it got the point where you'd hold my hand, kiss me and tell me that you loved me, while we were at school. I was so happy when that started to happen, even though every time it happened; my paranoia would kick in and tell me that it was a lie. That every touch, every kiss that you gave me and every 'I love you' that you said; was a lie. And Craig, it took so much effort for me not to break down and cry in your arms when I thought that. It hurt so much to think, that I didn't want myself to be happy. But I braved it, and it took so much effort to say that I loved you back. I don't know why it did, but it did. Mainly it was trying to deny anything that I told myself when the paranoia but I combated it in the same way I did when we were little; coffee. So when you gave me that flask for my birthday, just seven months into our relationship, with the lyrics from the song you wrote for me on it; I was ecstatic. I had proof. Proof that you loved me. And I was foolish to think that it would stop my paranoid thoughts. I was really wrong on that aspect. But I pushed all the paranoid thoughts away with the coffee that my Mother made me every morning and put it in the flask you bought me. I drank more coffee and when you noticed, you asked why. That... that touched me. It showed you truly cared. And I could see that you truly cared, your pale blue eyes showed it. But when I told you it was due to exam stress, rather then the real reason, you offered to take me out on a date, then help my study so I didn't suffer alone. That also touched me, but at the same time it hurt me. It hurt that you didn't realise I was hiding something. Because although at the time I was dealing with exam stress, you didn't notice there was anything else. At first I thought it was because I was good at hiding things, and I tricked myself into believing that before I remembered, that I've never been good at hiding things. So in my head, I started to blame Kenny. You'd been spending time with him and I guess, I was jealous. I understand that at the time he was your best friend but I still felt jealous. I'd had you alone for seven months and then, you didn't notice something about me. 

 

But then I stopped blaming him. I stopped blaming him when you took me on our date. You took me to the fair, [one of the most clichéd and overused dates in history as you would later tell me] and when I saw how much love and care was in your eyes that night; I stopped blaming Kenny McCormick after I realised how much care you took of me that night. You calmed me down when I had a mini panic attack after we rode on the Ferris Wheel and just generally took care of me that night. It felt nice to have someone who took that much care of me for a change. It showed to me just how much you loved me and to me; that night was perfect. You even made one of the ride operators take a photo of us together, and then helped me put it up a few weeks later on my wall when I was too scared to use the hammer. The photograph looked weird, but it summed us up perfectly. There was you, with your shaggy black hair and bright blue eyes standing with an arm around me staring straight at the camera and there was me, with my messy dirty blond hair and hazel eyes snuggled into your side with a flask of coffee in my hand. I treasured that photo along with every other photo of us; the mismatched couple. I saw it every night before I went to bed and when I slept over at your house; I kind of missed it. But then again, every time I slept over at your house, I was nervous and missed something that I had at my own home.

 

However, I did have a reason to be nervous, aside from the fact that I was always nervous, when I slept at your house, I never knew whether we'd have sex or not. To be fair, the idea of sex scared me completely. The idea with sex with anyone but you; completely terrified me to the point that I need a big cup of coffee to calm down with. The idea of sex with you though, it made me nervous and scared. But the good kind of nervous and scared, if there's even such a thing. I'm not sure whether that was because I was a virgin or not, all I know is that I was so scared of the idea of sex. So when you led me up to your room that night on our nine month anniversary, and placed me on the bed gently; my heart nearly stopped and my stomach fluttered. My nerves only seem to get worse the more into the kissing and touching we got and inside, I was counting how many times I needed to pull on my hair afterwards. That's not say that I didn't enjoy the sex, because I did, I was just so nervous about it that it freaked me out. But then again everything freaked me out. I didn't even pull my hair the twelve times that I needed to afterwards, because you offered to make me a coffee. Such a simple gesture to everyone else, but such a meaningful one to me. I remember that coffee instantly, mainly because hazelnut coffee is my favourite and that was the one you made me, but because you made that coffee and you held me while I drank it, even though we were both still naked. I don't remember ever falling to sleep that night with the help of my sleeping pills, but I remember waking up in your arms to you watching me with slight blush on your cheeks, while the coffee cup sat on your messy desk. You'd smiled after you'd whispered that you loved me in my ear and saw that I blushed a deep scarlet, before getting up and making me breakfast in bed. To me, that was another sign that you well and truly loved me. A sign that for a change, something was going my way.

 

And all was well, until that day I saw you and Kenny.I remember that day clearly. I had been coming out of the toilet cubicle and I covered my mouth to stop myself saying something or making any noise at all. I just watched as you and Kenny made out against the toilet sinks with your eyes closed. I understand that you two are best friends, and now something more then that, but I don't see why you would make out with each other. It had felt like my heart was being ripped to pieces and I had left the bathroom quietly when it became apparent to me that neither of you had the intention of stopping. When I got out of the bathroom with neither of you noticing, I didn't go back to Science. No, I ran home. I ran home and up to my room and locked the door. I flopped on my bed and cried for a solid hour. Both my parents were out, my dad was at work and my mum was shopping, so there was no one to hear my tears. Once I'd cried myself out, I started to tug at my hair and I had watched as tiny wisps of dirty blond hair fell to my bedroom floor. Once I'd done that; I checked my phone. I know it seems stupid but I guess I was praying that you would have text me seeing as we would be in Maths, where you sit next to me, and that you would notice I wasn't there. But when I looked, there was nothing. That, only seemed to make me worse. 

 

That was when I decided I didn't care any more. 

 

That was when I unlocked my bedroom door and went to the medicine cabinet. And I took my full tub of sleeping pills to my room and proceeded to take more then the recommended dose.

 

That was when my mum came in and found me.

 

And that was why, when I woke up in Hell's Pass Hospital and you hugged me then went to kiss me; I stopped you and broke up with you. Even though you could see on my face that it hurt me to do so.

 

So Craig, we've come full circle now. Well not a complete full circle just yet. Seeing as I haven't told you what I did to everything I owned that you'd either given more or had you in. I burnt all the pictures that you were in, despite my very hatred and fear of fire. And yes, that does include that picture of us at the fair. I threw everything else out that you gave me, but the flask. I scraped the writing off and painted it a deep brown colour so I could no longer tell that you had given me it. 

 

But there is one thing I cannot do. And that is erase every memory of you. I've tried. I don't want to hold onto you, not after what you did. But I can't help but do it. I guess I can't forget us even though I want to so much and I've been violently sick over stressing about the fact I can't forget you. I guess my paranoid thoughts were right in a way. You never did love me. and every kiss and every touch was a lie. Maybe if I keep telling myself that; I can forget what happened between us. Maybe next time, I won't fall in love so hard. It should be easy for me, I take so many pills now there's days were I wake up and I don't even know my own name. But no matter what I want to happen to me for now; there is something I want to happen to you, Craig. I want you to never be able to forget what happened between us. I want that to haunt you for the rest of your life to make you think before you act on your teenage hormones next time. Hopefully, you can do that right for me.

 

 

Love From

Your paranoid Tweakers xxx


	2. Craig's Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final part of the "Don't Forget" story and a tiny bit of fanservice. This was originally written three years after the previous part

Craig looks up from doodling in a sketchbook as his mum walks into his room, a letter in her hand and the raven haired teen’s perverted friend following close behind.

“This came for you” She says and passes him it before leaving and allowing the young couple to have their privacy. Craig looks at the messy handwriting and blinks when he recognises it as Tweak’s. Tweak, the sweet boy that Craig had been ignoring for the past three weeks, mainly because he and Kenny had started a fling and after the sudden break-up between him and Tweak it had become a more regular occurrence for them to meet up. But the raven haired teen had had no clue how to tell Tweak, or whether he even wanted to tell him while they’d been together. But even while ignoring Tweak, Craig had noticed that the twitchy blonde had made no attempt to talk to him at all over the past three weeks and considering the twitchy blonde’s attachment issues, Craig found this highly strange and extremely worrying. The last time Craig had interacted with him they’d been at Hell’s Pass Hospital and they’d broken up. The only thing that the raven haired teen hadn’t quite understood was the fact that Tweak had looked so sad as he’d broken up with him and Craig didn’t know why. Hell, he still didn’t know why they’d broken up! And with the ex-couple refusing to talk to each other he hopes this letter will at least give him some light into why.

“Who’s the letter off?” Kenny asks as he sits onto the bed next to Craig, an arm immediately going around Craig’s waist.

“Tweak.”

“Oh. Are you going to read it?” Kenny asks sensing the other boy’s sadness at the letter in his hand. He’d nursed Craig through the sudden break up with sex and some love (but mainly sex) and was glad he’d come round today. The thought of Craig upset now physically pained Kenny and he dreaded to think how sad Craig would become at reading this letter.

“Yes.” Craig says as he opens the taped shut letter and pulls out the pages contained within. He feels Kenny pull him onto his lap out of concern and settles against his chest before starting to read.

Craig blinks at reading that Tweak knew that he cheated on him and wonders what he saw. The raven haired teen knows that his and Kenny’s altercations had started at a party that Stan had held, where the pair had got extremely drunk and at first Craig had thought that Kenny was Tweak and hazily remembers calling out Tweak’s name at climax. It had been the next morning while heavily hungover that Craig had realised he’d slept with Kenny instead, and that Tweak hadn’t even attended the party due to being on vacation with his parents. And that had been when him and Tweak had been together almost eleven months; two months after he’d first slept with Tweak and two months before this letter had turned up. His eyes widen when he reads about how Tweak knows he was cheating and how that made him feel and he leans further into Kenny and relaxes slightly when the blonde tightens the hug around his partner.

However he laughs slightly at reading the story of how they got together and blushes slightly recalling that day himself. He can’t remember what he and Kenny were laughing about but he does remember the confusion at sending a text saying ‘where are you?’ and getting the response ‘yes’ and remembers having to send a separate text asking what that meant. He remembers laughing with Tweak about it months down the line in Starbucks when Token and Clyde had asked how they’d got together, and how Tweak had laughed so much he’d split his coffee on Craig. And while those are all happy memories, reading Tweak write about them gives them an almost sad twinge to them and he’s not surprised when he feels tears starting to form. Not wanting to cry yet though; the raven haired teen swipes at his eyes relaxing when they’re no longer wet with tears.

And then the sadness returns and he frowns at the accusation of not noticing something Tweak was hiding. He’d known damn well he was hiding something but had merely ignored it because he thought Tweak wanted him to ignore it. He’d noticed everything to do with the twitchy blonde and had tried his hardest to make their relationship easier on Tweak so that he didn’t have as many breakdowns or psychotic moments. He’d given Tweak so much care and attention and to be told that him ignoring something was something that hurt him as well as made him slightly angry. Kenny notices the raven haired boy’s hold on the letter tightens and strokes his hair slightly. It normally calmed the other boy down, but today he wasn’t having any of it.

Some of the sadness and anger disappears at reading about their date at the fair and he instinctively looks over at where the photo is above his desk. Something he’d only put up after they’d had sex the first time when Tweak had told him that he missed seeing it whenever he slept over. They’d been so happy together and now they were both hurting in different ways. The only difference was Tweak had gone for actual help, Craig had just turned immediately to Kenny, someone who didn’t understand entirely what Craig felt but was just there for him to vent and cry at.

Craig blushes scarlet at reading about their sex life and Kenny feels his partner shift slightly; a sign he was either uncomfortable or horny. And sure enough when he looks down at the boy, he finds a deep scarlet blush covering his cheeks and he sighs. The emotions he’s seen Craig express at reading this letter will probably end up in Craig crying himself to sleep tonight. Like he did anytime they had had sex following his and Tweak’s breakup. And Kenny hated seeing him like that.

And all was well, until that day I saw you and Kenny.I remember that day clearly. I had been coming out of the toilet cubicle and I covered my mouth to stop myself saying something or making any noise at all. I just watched as you and Kenny made out against the toilet sinks with your eyes closed. I understand that you two are best friends, and now something more then that, but I don't see why you would make out with each other. It had felt like my heart was being ripped to pieces and I had left the bathroom quietly when it became apparent to me that neither of you had the intention of stopping. When I got out of the bathroom with neither of you noticing, I didn't go back to Science. No, I ran home. I ran home and up to my room and locked the door. I flopped on my bed and cried for a solid hour. Both my parents were out, my dad was at work and my mum was shopping, so there was no one to hear my tears. Once I'd cried myself out, I started to tug at my hair and I had watched as tiny wisps of dirty blond hair fell to my bedroom floor. Once I'd done that; I checked my phone. I know it seems stupid but I guess I was praying that you would have text me seeing as we would be in Maths, where you sit next to me, and that you would notice I wasn't there. But when I looked, there was nothing. That, only seemed to make me worse. 

Craig lets out (what Kenny assumes is) a choked sob at reading about Tweak finding them making out and tries his hardest not to think about how far he and Kenny had gone that day while sober in those toilets, fear and curiosity making him want to finish that letter desperately.

It’s as Craig reaches the end of Tweak’s letter and the details of his suicide and his life following the break-up that he starts to cry. Kenny takes the letter off him and puts it on his desk and grips the boy close without asking any questions.

“He knew.” Kenny looks down at Craig’s words once the boy has calmed down and stopped crying and raises an eyebrow.

“Knew what?”

“He saw us kissing in the school bathroom. He tried to kill himself Kenny! That’s why he went to Hell’s Pass! That’s why he broke up with me!” Craig screams before hiding his face into Kenny’s chest. The blonde sighs quietly at Craig’s actions and shifts so that Craig is sat upright.

 

“Listen to me Craig. What started out as a drunken night between us evolved into more because you wanted it to. You wanted to continue our sexual exploits without telling him. And I went along with it because you treat him right still. But Craig it was always ‘oh it’ll just be one more time, he won’t find out’ and I’m sorry but your luck ran out. And he broke up with you yes. And I know you’re sad about it but you brought it upon yourself Craig.” Kenny says rather bluntly and turns Craig’s head back to face him when he looks away. “I’m sorry he left you Craig, but maybe you should have told him, or not slept with me anymore then that one drunken time. Then we wouldn’t be where we are today and I wouldn’t be sat comforting you after this.” Kenny’s voice becomes soft and full of love at seeing how sad Craig was and he pulls him closer to him. “Come on, I have vodka in my bag, we’ll drown our sorrows in alcohol and you can cry to me about losing the love of your life again, and I’ll try not to get jealous this time.” Kenny smiles at hearing the slight laugh coming from Craig’s lips and gently kisses him; not caring that Craig’s tears make for an extremely wet kiss.


End file.
